I Miss The Old Stereotype

Gamers have always been stereotyped. I never particularly minded. Gaming is the biggest media industry and to me, the most fun. There was a day when Nintendo made the highest quality games and Mario was a sign of quality. (Don't worry, this isn't another nostalgic rant, just a terrifying observation.)

Peripherals are hit and miss. Shotguns make House of the Dead fun, pretend mini golf clubs make Wii Golf pathetic. But how about a soft toy baby?

"Play along with Mama and do everything a real babysitter would do. Mama will teach you how to keep your baby happy and healthy!"

What the hell is going on? I used to laugh at these things. The problem now is that they sell. They conquer the charts and spawn endless sequels. I always thought that a game with all the effort of cooking but no reward would quickly fail. But it became successful enough to branch out; into this ****! 

I found this game being advertised and sold in the front section of GAME. A section usually reserved for the massive releases of the year. Call of Duty, Halo, Killzone, Forza, Gran Turismo, Cooking Mama World: Babysitting Mama, Gears of War, Uncharted. Something in that list just doesn't look right.

Consistency Confusion

Clothes sizes have always varied. It's a simple fact of variation. But today I have been stunned. Today I had to take back a Quiksilver shirt because it was too small. This doesn't sound like a big deal until I mention that the shirt concerned was a large. I am buying an extra large shirts. To put this into perspective, I buy a small LLanelli Scarlets shirt. I am by no means an extra large person. The only conclusion I can draw is that the average Quiksilver shopper is extremely anorexic. It's about time shops call it a day and start using the same sizing scheme. Jeans are measured in waist and leg. You know your size, you know your jeans. Why can't they do this with shirts?

Error?

I just received an error IN GAME.
An interesting message popped up.

    Error
    dobj for xmodel
    'c_rus_spetznaz_body1_g_larmoff' has more
    than 160 bones (see console for details)

WTF is going on?
It made me quit the game and lose my level progress.
I've seen glitches, but never a message pop up.

Being Let Down

A few weeks ago I ordered a Transformer from Kapow Toys through Amazon. I waited until a week after the latest delivery estimate before contacting them about the undelivered order. After a few days they wrote back saying that there were no more left so they couldn't send me a replacement and refunded the order.

Now, if this is true, I understand. Sometimes thing get lost, a refund is fine by me. The problem is that I wasted 3 weeks of my time waiting for the thing to turn up. Checking their feedback shows that I am not the only one. Others have had late orders and not had it turn up at all. Yet these people left 5 star feedback. Do they not realise how misleading this is? If you order, it should turn up. Failing to deliver is failing your customer. Now I'm back to square one, minus 3 weeks.

Sorry

I BOUGHT BLACK OPS.

There. Deal with it. I had no intentions of purchasing it. But, Treyarch have worked hard. The game still graphically looks the same as MW2. The story will still be as short. But most of my complaints have been addressed.

Split screen now has AI bots. That was enough for me. But that isn't all. You now get money instead of XP, so your hard work can now be spent wisely. The new multiplayer modes look fantastic. Soldiers can be customised eg. face paint. Juggernaut, Commando and Stopping Power have been removed. The era was chosen well, guns are still powerful but not ridiculous (AA12?). The biggest surprise? Red dot sights. You can now change the lens colour, the reticule colour and the reticle. Have you ever seen a green smiley face sight? I will still avoid online like it's FIFA, but I'm looking forward to the next 100 hours of split-screen.

Inconsistent Journalism

I have regularly read IGN for a long time now. I enjoy their articles, appreciate their news and trusted their reviews. Note that word, "trusted". For some unknown reason their journalists quality has drastically slumped. It all seemed to start with Halo Reach.

Now this is not a fanboy rant. I think Reach is a decent game. I am irritated when people say 3 was better (it really isn't). But, I don't think it deserves a 10. I'd give it an 8, maybe a 9 at a push. But the 10 confirmed by worst fears that games are no longer rated by the content, but by the title.

I predict that Black Ops will receive a 10. It may well be a decent game. But the fact it is Call of Duty automatically issues it a 10. This is what makes me angry. Many stunning games are overlooked because big names always get good scores. What sort of world is it when FIFA releases FIFA 10 and FIFA World Cup 2010 as separate games and we are fine with it?

I will keep the rant to a minimum and concentrate on IGN. Recently they reviewed Time Crisis: Razing Storm. Sarcastic Gamer gave it a "Buy It" award, stating it had many flaws but was still the enjoyable arcade experience faithfully recreated in your living room. IGN on the other hand awarded it a 4, stating reasons such as linear levels and poor story. It's Time Crisis, I know. I know the story is bad, I know the graphics are poor. All I wanted to know was whether or not it was FUN. But instead they criticised everything thing that makes it Time Crisis in the first place.

Now I feel they have gone way too far. With the launch of Kinect. They claim the price is far too high, yet give the price a 7. Despite a "noticeable delay" in detection, the performance has a 7 to. A 7 is good. Laggy motion controls are bad, ridiculous prices are bad. A 7.5 overall hardly seems justified by over-priced motion controls that have real lag.

There it is. Rant over. Thank you for sticking with it to the end. I feel it is now time to write my next article. I apologise in advance.

List of Awesome People

A massive thank you to everyone who donated to my Extra Life.
I will be posting on Saturday / Sunday will updates on my progress here.

Connor Knapton

Nicholas Patten

Ryan Gibbs

Christopher James

Robert Davies

Nia Jenkins

Meurig and Jacqueline Jenkins
Heulwyn and Richard

Jan and Nick Phipps

Edna and John Jenkins

Gareth and Claire Hind
George Hind
David Newman

Mr Donnelley

Miss Daley

Mr Tatham

Mr Beynon

Miss Thistlewood

Miss Cochlin

Portal 2

Not stupid, just completely insane!
(I will keep updating when I find out more)

There Goes My Time

2 weeks. 2 WHOLE weeks of politics, tutor sessions and career talks. Whose great idea was this?

To start with, politics. Basically we spent the entire day being told that politics is relevant to everyone because it is everything. That's it. I lost a day, which I could have spent sleeping, to learn nothing.

The tutor sessions aren't going to be any better. I don't need to explain why, they're tutor sessions.

Finally, I get to finish off the fortnight with 3 careers talks. With minimal choice and very specific talks, I was unable to find anything that could possible benefit me at all. There was not a single talk to do with creative arts, programming or even IT. How can they completely omit computers when talking about careers. With EVERYTHING now being run by computers, I thought they would at least had a speech on programming.

I just wonder who it is that decides what should be done in education. By looking at their decisions I have deduced that they must be friendless, boring, bitter and kept from the outside world.

Bring on next year.

It's Worth More, It Has History